July 31, 2006
Payton's Kiss
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Cassie Taylor, Denver, Colorado, October 2,
2004
On October 2, 2004, I gave birth to my daughter who passed away 18
minutes after she was born. The whole time while she was alive I kept
saying to her, "Come on baby, breath for mama, cry, do something for
mama!" But she didn't because of her condition. That night in the
hospital I was having a hard time sleeping. When I finally dozed off I
saw an image in my dreams of my grandfather who had passed when I was 6,
both of my great-grandmothers who had passed a few years back, and both
my great-grandfathers who passed way before I was born and all I had
seen of them were pictures. They were holding Payton (my daughter)
smiling and waving, letting me know she was in good hands. That's not
even the weird part. When I finally got back home in Wyoming, I was in
my apartment in my bed sleeping. My boyfriend at the time and I got a 2
bedroom apartment and fixed her room up just for her. That night I was
sleeping and awoke to my baby crying in the other room. I ran to her
room and had forgotten that she had passed away. I broke down crying and
held onto her teddy bear that I had bought for her. As I was crying I
felt the tiniest little lips kiss my cheek. It was so cold. I knew that
it was her telling me that if she could have she would have cried for me
at the hospital. Every once in awhile I'll have dreams of her, letting
me know that she is still ok.
